Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Karate Kid (2010)


Fresh Prince: Yo, Jeff, Check it. I had this idea imma' 'ead, dogg.I'm gonna remake The Karate Kid but I'm not gonna put no Italian white kid on it. It's gonna be ma' kid Jaden and it's gonna be slammin' bro!


DJ Jazzy Jeff
: You sure you're gonna pull dat' off? Da movie is a classic, yo. You can't just put a black kid as Daniel-san and expect people to buy that.


Fresh Prince
: Oh yes, I can! Imma da' original Fresh Prince a.k.a Will Smith da' world class personality, dogg! If Imma gonna do freakin Star Wars with me as Luke Skywalker and Danny Glover as Darth Vader, it will freaking work! Because my peeps and fans are still gonna buy dat' dan keep ma' wallet jiggy, yo! and FYI, dude, it will no longer called "Daniel-san", imma' gonna call the lead kid as "Dre". How dope is dat?

DJ Jazzy Jeff: Well, how bout Mr. Miyagi the mentor? You're gonna put a black dude as well?


Fresh Prince
: Jackie fucking Chan, dude! I'll put Jackie Chan on it and he and ma' kid will shoot dope traning scenes in the Great Wall of Hongkong, doing tricky Asian martial art shit and stuff. I told you, It's gonna be dope!

DJ Jazzy Jeff: What? I though you're going to make a Karate Kid movie, not kung-fu movie..

Fresh Prince: Who cares, dogg! Karate, kung-fu, taekwondo,jujistu, shiatsu, dimsum,..it's all slint-eyed guys doing complicated shit to knock asses down. Yes, i know Karate was invented by Chuck Norris in Tokyo, but people who think that i'm dope in I-Robot woudn't know dat, obviously. Man, I don't even know which part of Korea Jackie Chan came from. South, West Korea, who cares? Y'know whattamean?


DJ Jazzy Jeff
: Man, that's kinda racist.

Fresh Prince: How come? I'm black, i can't be racist.


DJ Jazzy Jeff
: You're a fucking idiot. Jackie Chan is from Hong Kong and there's no such thing as West Korea! Don't you fucking read books or paper or something? Damn, man. You probably think that dis' whole fucking world revolves around Miami, aren't you?

Fresh Prince: It isn't? Look, who cares, OK? If ma' wife can have her Catwoman movie, ma' Jaden gonna have his Karate Kid movie, period. P to da E to da R to da I to da O to da muthafuckin' D!

DJ Jazzy Jeff: Man, that ain't your wife. That's Halle Berry

Fresh Price: Really? Shit, I fucked the wrong chick again..

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